Twitter...

So I've finally decided to join most of the modern world and join Twitter. Meh. 
Its a lot 'harder' than I thought it would be to get into... I mean, it took me about 2 hours to think of a username (the downfall of having the most common name in the universe), then another hour to pick a background for my profile, and I still can't think what to write in my bio! The fact that at the side of the screen it also says, "0 tweets, 0 followers, 0 following and 0 listed" is a little bit depressing. So I am calling on you, the wonderful experts of the internet, to please inform me of the basics of the what is apparently amazing world of Twitter. How the hell do I get started?! Muchos thanks.

P.S.  "Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus" Thank you J.K.Rowling, for that lovely bit of wisdom...