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Tuesday 25 October 2011

A very bizarre day...

So today has been, well, a bit bizarre to be totally honest! Heres why:

So, I woke up bizarrely early, like 9 a.m., which I'm quite proud of considering its the school holidays! Bizarre!


My boyfriend came round for 10 a.m. Well, heres where it starts getting a little bit weird. I was feeling kind of confident, so we went further than we normally do. Third base, my friends. Thats right, I said it - Third Base! Hands up if you're proud of me for not freaking out like the old nerdy me would have? I don't know why people make a bit deal out of it. Other girls have said its 'demoralising' and, well just a bit 'horrible'.  Meh, its not that big a deal. I can see how it could be horrible, but luckily I'm with a guy who I trust a hell of a lot. So in theory, at the risk of sounding a little bit whorish and slutty, I kind of liked third base, I mean its not exactly hard, is it? Well, liked is the wrong word. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, is how I should put it. Second base was worse if you ask me...If thats possible for a girl to think...Bizarre!


Earlier tonight, I went out for a meal. So, this is kind of a big deal because I've never really told anyone this before, so brace your self! I'm not the best with eating things in front of people. To me, eating in front of someone is like a huge deal. I need to really trust someone before I'll eat anything in front of them. I don't know why, its a confidence thing I think, I'm scared they'll laugh or something. Its awkward. I don't eat lunch in school, especially if we're in a crowded room. It took me ages to trust myself to eat in front of my boyfriend. He keeps trying to take me out for meals, which is, as you can imagine, is horrible for me to turn down. So anyway, usually when I go out for a meal with my parents, I'll eat very little, if anything at all. Quite proud of myself. Today I had two courses. It might not sound like a big deal, but trust me, it is. Bizarre!


When we got back, I thought I'd somehow managed to upset my boyfriend. I hadn't, and I was just being paranoid, but if you've read all my other posts, you'll realise that I'm always a little bit antsy when it comes to boys. I'm always worried that I'm going to get hurt. You can see why I was freaking out today. I mean, its basically been programmed into my head through TV shows, movies and especially books that there are guys out there who just want someone easy, that they'll leave the next day and brag to their friends about. So you can see why I freaked out, third base and all that. I should know better by now. I mean I trust my boyfriend so much, so why do I still panic about stuff like this? You want an answer? I love him. There. If he hurts me, I know its going to hurt a hell of a lot more than it did with the other dickheads I've had the luck of wandering upon. I'd trust him with my life, and that my friends, is bizarre. 


So reading this back, its not really been that much of a bizarre day. Well it has been for me, but I imagine for the average person, it would have been, well, average. Yeah, sorry for the build up. Anyway, I've got to go, so I'll hopefully blog some more soon. Byeeeee....

Thursday 20 October 2011

A Long Post...

Going to try and do a long post. Ofth. Thats right, a long post! The plan is that because its half term next week, and I've got no homework in for tomorrow, that I can actually spend all night blogging. So we'll see how long I can blog for. Well, its 5.45p.m. now, so we'll see how it goes...

School today was stressful. We have five periods a day,  four of which I had tests in. Not fun. I think I've managed to pass psychology, but maths I've almost definitely failed. It was one of those awkward tests where you're allowed to go once you're finished. Most the people in my maths class are genius. Now, the thing is, I finished the test quite quickly, before anyone had left, and I'd found it quite easy. But all the genius people were still working. Awkward. So evidently, I've under-complicated everything. So thats maths failed! Then I had 'lunch'. Notice the quotation marks around lunch. I spent my lunch hour revising for the two tests that I had this afternoon. The only place that I could find quiet enough to actually work was in one of the science labs, and its a rule in my school that you're not allowed to eat in the science labs. Feel my pain yet? Its not even the afternoon yet and I've had two tests and nothing to eat! Eurgh, then I had chemistry and biology tests. I failed both. So after all of this, I finally get to go home to, wait for it.... MATHS TUTORING!  How lucky am I? As you can imagine, I'm tired as now...

Today I had my last critical thinking lesson. Joy to the world. You'd think a lesson based around the idea of arguing with your teacher would be fun, wouldn't you? Its not. We spent our last lesson arguing over whether the death penalty was right or not. The other classes argued over pies. My friends class actually got to eat pies. I was jealous. Still, starting after half term, we get to do our enrichment choices. Guess what I'm doing? Go on, guess! Creative writing! Oh yeaaaaaaaaa! My boyfriends doing it too, so we might actually get a lesson together for once! I'm actually excited to do english for once. You don't realise how much you miss lessons until you drop them. 

Speaking of said boyfriend, I don't get to see him properly until Sunday. Gutted much? I didn't see him that much today. A Levels are screwing up my love life. He auditioned for Romeo and Juliet the other day. I don't think I've ever seen him so nervous for something, but he got into the top twenty out of sixty auditions! He's such a drama queen! ;) I'm kind of worried though. What happens if he gets the part of Romeo? I don't like the idea of him and some other girl having to kiss constantly and call it 'work'. I'm actually genuinely worried, which is stupid because I love him and would trust him with my life. Still, if he does get to play Romeo, how the hell am I supposed to sit through a performance of him declaring his love for someone else? I don't even know why I'm panicking; he's auditioning for Mercutio. I know what the drama teachers at my school are like though, they'll love him. 

So I'm kind of running out of things to blog about.... Hmm, half term. I'm kind of nervous. I'm going to be spending a lot of time alone with the boyfriend. I'm kind of ridiculously inexperienced at the whole 'intimacy' thing. The thing is, this is my first 'real' relationship and I'm not really sure what I'm doing. I'm terrified that I'm going to do something wrong. Apparently, I'm quite good at this sort of stuff. I'm not sure if my boyfriend is actually telling the truth, or just trying to boost my confidence... 

Just realised that I've had the same song on repeat for the last hour... I've fallen in love with Boyce Avenue... 

In the mood for a scary movie. I'm going to a sleepover on Saturday, so I'll probably get my fix then! So far, on our movie watching list, we have Finding Nemo...Still, the friend who's house I'm going to is slightly obsessed with scary movies so hopefully one will make it on. It should be a good night. Its freaking my boyfriend out though. I forgot to mention earlier, but he's a triplet, and I'm friends with his sister. So yeah, casually going to a sleepover where your boyfriends sister will be...

So, its now 7.30p.m. and I've run out of ideas to talk about. So, yeah, I might do another post later, but for now, byyyeeeeee....

Wednesday 19 October 2011

A Short Post...

Hello my lovely readers! So a rather short post today. 


I've got four tests tomorrow. Literally on the verge of a mental breakdown. Never, and I mean never take hard A Levels. I'm convinced maths and chemistry are going to kill me. Its bad because usually I'm so tired from thinking in maths and chemistry that by the time I get to psychology and biology, I want nothing more than to fall asleep at my desk. Meaning that I'm only on C's in all of my subjects. Still, we're only six weeks into sixth form, so I can probably get my grades up! Hopefully...


Anyway, I told you it would be a short post tonight. Its 11p.m. and I'm still rearranging my biology folder because my teacher casually mentioned that he wants to see all of our neat notes tomorrow. I haven't been keeping neat notes. FML. So, yeah, byeeeeee...

Tuesday 18 October 2011

One Direction Infection...

So, its my second post of the night. Get me!

 I discovered a song today. Well, technically two songs. They're the same song, but they're totally different. If anyone reading this lives in the UK, you'll be well aware of the One Direction 'infection' that is gripping the nation. Basically, One Direction is a group of five guys who came third on last years X-Factor. They released their first single since the show last week. Now, its not the usual type of music that I listen to, but I'm willing to put up with if, just to hear Harry Styles say that I'm beautiful.


Today though, I also discovered another version of this song. Anyone heard of Boyce Avenue? Phwoar. Screw Harry Styles, if this guy sung this song to me, my heart would melt. Mind, if anyone sung this song to me, my heart would probably melt. Anyway, heres my favourite version of the song.


So, my lovely readers, which is your favourite version? Boyce Avenue all the way, in my opinion. 
So for the second time tonight, byeeeeee....

Breakthrough...

So, I'm going to try and start posting more again. I had a bit of a realisation, and after my little rant last night, today I had quite a good day at school. Sure, I'm behind with work, but its half term next week, so I can catch up then. I passed my psychology test, and even if I fail the others this week, its not the end of the world. 

My boyfriend seems to have the knack for cheering me up. Literally, all he has to do is look at me and I feel like smiling. 


So, speaking of the boyfriend, we had a bit of a breakthrough today. Usually, we follow a strict no public signs of affection rule. My fault. I got screwed over by a guy a few years ago, and ever since, I've hated and signs of affection in public. So, anyway, usually I hate it. I mean, I'm fine with holding hands and stuff outside of school, but inside school, its a bit much, don't you think? Today was different though. I actually kissed him inside school. I think I surprised both of us. Mind, I have had withdrawal symptoms. I had a cold-sore earlier this week, so I haven't been able to kiss him for six days. T'was absolute torture. Strange how I survived 16 years without kissing, then suddenly I found it difficult to last 6 days. It got to the stage where we both reflexively kept going in to kiss each other, but had to pull back at the last moment. Anyway, its all good now, and we can kiss again.

So, as you can probably tell, I've had a really good day today. So, yeah, I'll hopefully blog some more, but for now, byyeeeeeee.....

Monday 17 October 2011

A Levels...

So I haven't posted in almost a month! Shun! I'm sorry, I really am. Blame my teachers, they HATE me. Also, part of the blame can be given to my boyfriend. Yes, blame him. He's an easy target, you see? 


So, not a lot has changed since my last post. My boyfriend found my blog again, so I changed it back. I prefer the two 'y's' for some reason. What do you think, one 'y' or two? 


I have committed blasphemy and started a dailybooth. I know, right? So if anyone wants to see what I actually look like, comment, and I'll put my link on here. I don't see the point in putting it up if no one is specifically going to read it, it would just leave me open to people from school finding this blog, which to be honest, would equal hell. 


So, boy talk. I've been with him for nearly two months now, and everything is going great. Impressive, right? Me in a genuinely functioning relationship, with I boy who I love to the moon and back. Counting my lucky stars here...


A Levels are tough. You know how we all thought that they were exaggerating when they said that it was like a slap in the face compared to GCSE? They weren't. They're more of a series of continuous punches actually. A word of advice: pick subjects you're good at, and that you actually like, or you'll find yourself in living hell, like me. I took Biology, Chemistry, Maths and Psychology. It is hell on earth. I wish I'd done English Lit and Lang and Art. I miss them. I miss being able to drivel on about books and write and actually get marks for it! I miss being able to read and say that its for school! I miss being able to challenge my teachers, and put my opinions out in a lesson. I miss reading into the early hours of the morning, because I've found a book that I love more than life itself. I miss writing. A lot. And because the subjects that I actually took are ridiculously high demanding, I never get the chance to in my own free time either. I'm sick of failing lessons at school. Before sixth form, I'd never failed a test. Ever. Sure I'd got some pretty bad marks, but I'd never sunk so low as to fail. Within two weeks of returning to school, I'd failed six tests. I only take four subjects. How is that even possible!? Now, I'm at the bottom of every class, and its killing me! I hate it! Literally, everyone in my lessons are smarter than me. Its actually depressing. I feel another January coming on... Eurgh, I can't be dealing with that again. 


Thats it from me. Its 11.30 p.m. on a school night, I'm still up doing homework, and to be honest, I'm sick of my life. Byeeeeeeeee.....