Title says it all, really...
1. Guy Number 2 has decided to barge his way back into my life. What started off as a "Hey, how you doing? We haven't spoke in ages! x ", swiftly turned into "Look, I just wanted to say that I really miss you x ". Baring in mind the last time we talked was when he rejected me, its slightly awkward. He's joined the army, which confuses me, because I found myself getting quite distressed by this. It would kill me if something happened to him.
2. The group of chavs walking behind me on my way home from school, asking to feel my 'tits'. I had to seriously fight the urge to roundhouse kick them in the face.
3. Guy Number 1 having the same free periods as me at sixth form. Imagine my surprise when half way through one of my frees last week, he comes and sits right beside me, looks straight into my eyes and says "Hi Amy" in a very sexy voice. I've always had a weakness for his eyes, so finding myself staring into them after half a year of zero contact, basically rendered me speechless. Goodbye 'study' periods...
4. Guys who stare at my ass as I walk through the common room, yet would laugh if I ever dared ask them out, just because they're 'popular'. Thats right, I see you stare. Its made worse by the fact that most of them have girlfriends.
5. The fact that one of the guys who I have a crush on is way out of my league.
6. The fact that one of the guys that I have a crush on is apparently WITHIN my league, yet I'm still too scared to make a move.
7. The fact that even though I say that I'm sick of boys, really all I want is a relationship, because after nearly two months of being single, I'm really lonely. I miss having a boy tell me that I'm beautiful and that they love me.
8. The fact that love means different things boys than it does to girls.
9. Before I got involved with boys, I was quite happy being single, now, it the most depressing thing in the world.
10. The fact that boys seem to be way worse than girls at rubbing their happiness in your face. It feels like I get punched in the face everytime I talk to some people.
My friends and I have a little joke about what we're going to do to boys who hurt us, and only recently has it started being brought up again. So to any of my friends who might be reading this, and know what I'm on about, I think its time to get the rusty spoons out.... *insert evil laugh*....
Tuesday 27 March 2012
Sunday 18 March 2012
Two...
So I have a crush. Yes. Finally. I've been praying for myself to get a crush for the past month.
If you've be reading my blog from the start, you'll have realised what I'm like when I start liking someone. Once I start liking someone, I basically become obsessed. And anyway, its now common knowledge that I can't like one single person, my crushes have to come in twos. So when I say I have a crush, what I really mean is, "I have slight crushes on two guys, and I'm going to merge the best parts of them together in my head to make the perfect guy". So yes, I kind of have crushes on two guys. I now need to think of code names for them, because 'guy number one' and 'guy number two' have been done before. I think I may start using initials. But that would be really obvious. Any ideas, anyone?
So anyway, there are two guys. The first guy is my 'normal' type. He basically looks like a cross between an Abercrombie model and a greek god. He's about 5ft9-ish, and as far as I'm aware, he has a six pack to die for (my imagination is telling me I'm right). I've known him since I started middle school, but I never talked to him properly until the start of this year. He's smart, funny, and he understands Harry Potter references. Its always hot when I guy can quote Potter to you. He's a triplet. What is it with me and triplets?! I must be drawn to them. Anyway, I sit next to him in biology and maths. What is it with me and science lessons?! I always seem to develop crushes on boys in my science lessons. He's ridiculously smart, he's amazing at maths, but I have a slight advantage over him in biology, but only just enough so I can tease him about it. Have I ever mentioned I'm the worlds biggest flirt? So anyway, thats the first guy.
The second guy is pretty different. He's not my normal type. He's about 5ft7-ish, and has wavy blond hair. He could also be an Abercrombie model if he tried. But he doesn't try. He has a six pack, but admittedly, not the best, because I'm willing to bet he doesn't gym. He's smart, but he doesn't try, he doesn't need to try. Its kind of hot when boys don't try. He's funny, and he can quote Harry Potter and The Hunger Games to me. So hot. He's not a triplet, thank god. The other day, I was sharing his Ipod with him, and we were singing 'Dirty Little Secret' by The All-American Rejects to each other, with full on air guitars and everything. I like boys who aren't too serious. I sit next to him in biology. Thats right. In biology, I have one crush on my left, and one crush on my right. Biology is slowly becoming my favourite subject for some reason...
So, any opinions on which sounds like the best? Answers in the comment section please...
Byee.....
Sunday 4 March 2012
I'm back...
So, I've had a little break from blogging. Sorry. I know you all must have missed me dreadfully, but I promise I'm back. So for the past month I've been coping with what can only be called the 'post-breakup cycle'. So in this post I'm going to outline the stages that I went though after I broke up with the boy I was in love with, and hopefully give you some tips, just incase any of you happen to be unfortunate enough to go through with it.
Stage 1
The "I'm going to be forever alone, and live with 37 cats, who will eventually eat me as I die a slow, painful, lonely death" stage. No over exaggeration. This lasted for about two days for me, but I can easily see why for some people it can last months. It feels good to feel sorry for yourself. To be honest, straight after a break up, you just want to feel loved by someone, which is why I guess most people go out and buy cats. Ironically, cats are probably the least loving animals ever. Anyway, during this stage, you want to curl up under your duvet and sob into a supersize tub of Ben and Jerry ice cream. I have tried and tested this, and I can confirm that Ben and Jerry can seriously help you in this period. To get out of stage 1, you have got to find some normality. I only dated the guy for six months, but I suppose it would be harder if you've been with each other for years. To get me out of this phase, my friends took me shopping, the day after we broke up. It worked. Don't let yourself get into a rut.
Stage 2
The "I want to block him out of my life forever and never look at his face again" stage. This is quite a nice phase, as you feel as if you're actually doing something to combat the pain you're feeling. Removing everything that reminds you of them from your room; the photos on the wall, the love notes, the teddy bear, his clothes. I currently have a shoe box in the bottom of my wardrobe filled with everything that reminds me of him, it barely shut. It feels much better not being reminded of him everytime I look around my room. Then you've got to sort out your computer. I had A LOT of pictures of us on my laptop. I'm talking around 100 images of us hugging, kissing and being generally cute, that my computer would not let me mass delete. I had to wait a couple of weeks before I could click on them each individually and click delete. That took strength. Similarly, we broke up the week before valentines day, and I'd made a playlist that I was going to give to him. It was saved on my laptop as "Our songs". The album artwork was pictures of us. I still haven't had the courage to listen to the songs again. This phase takes a while to get out of. Depending on how long you were in a relationship, you'll keep noticing little things that remind you of them. Its been nearly a month and I still find things; just yesterday, I found a picture of us saved on my phone. To get out of this phase I'd suggest either one of two things, depending on the terms that you are on with your ex. If you had a nice breakup, you can still talk and are friends then look at the photos, notes and everything, at least you'll address that it was good while it lasted. If it was a bad breakup, feel free to burn them to he ground.
Stage 3
The "I can do so much better than that utter arse hole, I'll show him" stage. This stage is quite fun. Its also quite entertaining if you're still on speaking terms. For example, I still talk to my ex, and the first time I saw him since we broke up was at school, a week later. In the space of a week, I bought the shortest shorts I could find, dyed my hair brunette and made sure that I looked pretty damn fine. His expression was priceless. Flirt with other guys, and revel in the attention that you'll get. I'm not saying act like a slut, but I'm saying show that you can get another guy just as easily and that its his loss. In the month since we broke up I've had five offers of dates, and declined them all. I'm more confident than ever.
Stage 4
The "I can't do this on my own, I need him back and I'll do anything to get him back" stage. This can crop up at anytime. I still get occasional moments of this, but they're getting more and more infrequent. You need to accept that you broke up. It took me quite a while to accept it totally and for about a week and a half I tried constantly to get him back. My only advice is that no matter how much you feel the need to text him, or call him, go with your gut instinct. Everyone told me not to text him, but sometimes you feel so helpless that you just have to. In a way this is good, I talked to my ex and realised that he doesn't have feelings for me anymore. It hurt like a bitch, and it felt like my heart had been smashed all over again, but after you can finally move on. If you don't text, you're always going to wonder, but if you do text, you're risking breaking your heart all over again. Use your own judgement on this one.
Stage 5
The "I'm actually single again, this is odd" stage. I suppose it'll be stranger the longer you were in a relationship, but it does feel weird no matter how long the relationship was. Its little things that have altered your personality while you were together vanish, and its like returning to a long lost friend. For example, when I was single, I was flirtatious. I mean VERY flirtatious. When I entered a relationship I had to turn that down loads, and when I became single, I found myself automatically flirting with any guy who showed interest. It scared me at first but then I remembered that I used to be like that all the time. I'm taking full advantage of it. Actually being single is strange as well. Realising that they probably don't think about you when hey go to sleep anymore, and they don't text you as soon as they wake up, it kind of hurts to start with. You've just got to remember that its not the first time you've been single, and if you could find happiness when you were previously single, then you can find it again.
So there are the five stages that I went though when I broke up with my last boyfriend. I hope that none of you ever have to go through these, but odds are not in our favour! Just remember, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince...
Stage 1
The "I'm going to be forever alone, and live with 37 cats, who will eventually eat me as I die a slow, painful, lonely death" stage. No over exaggeration. This lasted for about two days for me, but I can easily see why for some people it can last months. It feels good to feel sorry for yourself. To be honest, straight after a break up, you just want to feel loved by someone, which is why I guess most people go out and buy cats. Ironically, cats are probably the least loving animals ever. Anyway, during this stage, you want to curl up under your duvet and sob into a supersize tub of Ben and Jerry ice cream. I have tried and tested this, and I can confirm that Ben and Jerry can seriously help you in this period. To get out of stage 1, you have got to find some normality. I only dated the guy for six months, but I suppose it would be harder if you've been with each other for years. To get me out of this phase, my friends took me shopping, the day after we broke up. It worked. Don't let yourself get into a rut.
Stage 2
The "I want to block him out of my life forever and never look at his face again" stage. This is quite a nice phase, as you feel as if you're actually doing something to combat the pain you're feeling. Removing everything that reminds you of them from your room; the photos on the wall, the love notes, the teddy bear, his clothes. I currently have a shoe box in the bottom of my wardrobe filled with everything that reminds me of him, it barely shut. It feels much better not being reminded of him everytime I look around my room. Then you've got to sort out your computer. I had A LOT of pictures of us on my laptop. I'm talking around 100 images of us hugging, kissing and being generally cute, that my computer would not let me mass delete. I had to wait a couple of weeks before I could click on them each individually and click delete. That took strength. Similarly, we broke up the week before valentines day, and I'd made a playlist that I was going to give to him. It was saved on my laptop as "Our songs". The album artwork was pictures of us. I still haven't had the courage to listen to the songs again. This phase takes a while to get out of. Depending on how long you were in a relationship, you'll keep noticing little things that remind you of them. Its been nearly a month and I still find things; just yesterday, I found a picture of us saved on my phone. To get out of this phase I'd suggest either one of two things, depending on the terms that you are on with your ex. If you had a nice breakup, you can still talk and are friends then look at the photos, notes and everything, at least you'll address that it was good while it lasted. If it was a bad breakup, feel free to burn them to he ground.
Stage 3
The "I can do so much better than that utter arse hole, I'll show him" stage. This stage is quite fun. Its also quite entertaining if you're still on speaking terms. For example, I still talk to my ex, and the first time I saw him since we broke up was at school, a week later. In the space of a week, I bought the shortest shorts I could find, dyed my hair brunette and made sure that I looked pretty damn fine. His expression was priceless. Flirt with other guys, and revel in the attention that you'll get. I'm not saying act like a slut, but I'm saying show that you can get another guy just as easily and that its his loss. In the month since we broke up I've had five offers of dates, and declined them all. I'm more confident than ever.
Stage 4
The "I can't do this on my own, I need him back and I'll do anything to get him back" stage. This can crop up at anytime. I still get occasional moments of this, but they're getting more and more infrequent. You need to accept that you broke up. It took me quite a while to accept it totally and for about a week and a half I tried constantly to get him back. My only advice is that no matter how much you feel the need to text him, or call him, go with your gut instinct. Everyone told me not to text him, but sometimes you feel so helpless that you just have to. In a way this is good, I talked to my ex and realised that he doesn't have feelings for me anymore. It hurt like a bitch, and it felt like my heart had been smashed all over again, but after you can finally move on. If you don't text, you're always going to wonder, but if you do text, you're risking breaking your heart all over again. Use your own judgement on this one.
Stage 5
The "I'm actually single again, this is odd" stage. I suppose it'll be stranger the longer you were in a relationship, but it does feel weird no matter how long the relationship was. Its little things that have altered your personality while you were together vanish, and its like returning to a long lost friend. For example, when I was single, I was flirtatious. I mean VERY flirtatious. When I entered a relationship I had to turn that down loads, and when I became single, I found myself automatically flirting with any guy who showed interest. It scared me at first but then I remembered that I used to be like that all the time. I'm taking full advantage of it. Actually being single is strange as well. Realising that they probably don't think about you when hey go to sleep anymore, and they don't text you as soon as they wake up, it kind of hurts to start with. You've just got to remember that its not the first time you've been single, and if you could find happiness when you were previously single, then you can find it again.
So there are the five stages that I went though when I broke up with my last boyfriend. I hope that none of you ever have to go through these, but odds are not in our favour! Just remember, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince...
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