Boys....

So today I'm going to write about a subject that is largely over done on the internet. Boys. Hmmph. I'm not doing this by choice. After a serious case of writers block (or pure laziness - you decide), I went to my friends to think of a suitable topic. Boys won our vote unanimously. Yet again, I know nothing about this subject other than what I have learnt through my own experience with these 'creatures', so don't take anything I say to seriously. Okay?

 So, why? Why do they exist? Is is solely just to make our lives as girls as complicated as possible?! Though its not the most practical explanation, I think so. And so do most of my friends at this moment. We each have our own 'crush' and we all relish the thought that boys have managed to ensnare us. We hate them for it. We hate the thought that some guy can come along and break down every single barrier that we put up to protect ourselves from them, just by saying, "hey". What makes it worse is the fact that the guy obviously has no clue, no mater how plain we make it, that we like them! So we are faced with a choice, wait for the guy to realise his feelings for us, or face our fears, and tell him. And face the fact that they have the power to make our day, or ruin it completely. 


Take the guy that I like for instance. He's an utter dick. I'm not just saying that, he actually is. He has a girlfriend, but insists on flirting with me everytime we see each other. And because I like him so much, I can't help but flirt back. I'm probably breaking some unsaid moral code for girls. But, he now has the ability to alter my moods in accordance with how many hugs I get off him a day:


Zero hugs - I spend the rest of the day feeling depressed, not talking to anyone, in a serious case of shock, thinking I've done something to make him mad (seriously).
1-3 hugs- I spend the rest of the day crying on my friends shoulders about how he doesn't like me.
4-6 hugs- I have a really lovely day. Really.
7-9 hugs- I manage to convince myself that maybe I have the slightest chance with him, even if he does have a girlfriend.

So this is what my life has resorted to. Thanks to boys, I'm spending my Sunday evening analysing how many hugs I get, whether they mean anything and how they make me feel. I haven't even mentioned the fact that he draws hearts on my arms, feels my legs up or hits me on the arse with rulers....Thanks for that.


I'm not the only one either. One of my friends crushes saw us at school the other day. He gave us both hugs, but hers was definitely longer. We spent the next hour, with our other friend, discussing whether this meant anything. Then theres the whole argument of 'Hugs don't mean anything, so get over yourselves and stop over analysing everything'. No thanks! I will keep hold of every little thing that gives the slightest clue whether he likes me or not! And if that means including him holding on slightly too long after a hug, then so be it...


Then again, this could lead to us turning into the over obsessive stalkers, who start off analysing hugs, but end up following and staring at their 'crushes' excessively. And nobody likes an over-obsessive, clingy, needy, desperate girl. Especially boys, which is slightly ironic, don't you think? 


Social networking site such as Facebook have made it so much easier to become those 'stalker-like' girls. We now have to ability to browse through their pictures, see who they've been meeting up with, the list is endless. I once knew a girl who made a list of everywhere her crush went (according to Facebook), and frequently went to them, just incase he re-visited. When she did eventually 'bump' into him, she got such a shock that she just about managed to stutter a 'hello' before making her excuses and stumbling outside, running to get away from him. 


We also have the use of inbox and chat tools on these sites as well. These bring up their own sets of problems. Which is more intimate: Chat or Inbox? Personally, I've always thought inbox, because then you could look through everything he's said (right back to stalker-ish behaviour). But now, Facebook has merged the two together! I don't know whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. It means that I can re-read EVERYTHING, but it also means that he can too, which isn't necessarily good, with the amount of stupid things I say. With inbox, theres also the whole, he's online, so why hasn't he replied to the message I sent 13 minutes ago, "I knew I shouldn't have messaged him! Its been 13 minutes, he obviously hates me! I'm going to die alone with 472 cats!" Yes,this is really what runs through our heads when guys don't respond quickly. This usually leads to three hour convosations with our friends, trying to reassure each other that our crushes don't hate us, and that they're probably just busy or the little red number didn't pop up. 


So, guys, next time you see a girl staring at you, or keeping tally charts on the number of hugs you give her, please, please don't just ignore her. If your not interested - stop messing her around, give her a bit of space. If you are interested -  ask her out? Unless you dating someone else, then don't be a dick, because trust me your not doing her any favours. What. So. Ever...